Is there every such a thing as "good shopping" on a budget? Sometimes I say yes and sometimes I say no. People who find the best deals on things are people who usually are out and about a lot checking in on what's going on sale and which coupons are being honored. Sticking to a budget has always made me feel like my personal style is constricted. How would I ever still find the things I loved if I couldn't spend freely or was always looking for a good deal on them?!
Having just left one of my three jobs (for some more quality time with my husband!) I feared that my shopping passion (habit?) would suffer. I had mixed feeling about this. In my early 20s I lived however I wanted. Friday afternoons were spent shopping for Friday and Saturday nights' outfits and Sunday was spent getting coffee recounting the weekend. This cycle was repeated weekly with the occasional bad day mani/pedi/coffee/shopping trip interspersed. Over the years I have curated quite an exhibit of clothing, most of which, sadly sits in the closet unworn. Yet that desire still remains to ease a bad day with a stop at my favorite shops.
Getting married this summer showed me (very quickly) that I am now living for someone other than myself. I always kept a retail job for "shopping money" (more-so to help ease my "shopping guilt") but now it was taking up a part of my life that needed to be shared with another. In the decision to leave my retail job behind (tear!) and really begin my life with my husband and immerse myself in my real career, I put myself on a budget (YIKES!). I have never ever had good luck on a budget. Ever. Maybe I am weak. Maybe I lack discipline. Maybe my grandmother's love of art has rubbed off in my love of being living art in what I wear. That last one is a real stretch. I think I mostly have not had a real reason to stick to a budget before. The thought of children, homes, college educations, family vacations, trips to the in-laws in Florida, used to bring to mind visions of sunshine, smiles, and seersucker. Now all I see is dollar signs.
Mr. S has always teased me about my "expensive taste" and I have always maintained that I work so much because I never want to ask anyone else to have to deal with (or foot the bill for) my expensive taste. No budget meant as long as my bills were covered I could splurge a little (or a lot) on things I loved. With building a new life with someone else no longer in my future, but very much in my present, I am having trouble wrapping my mind around fitting my expensive taste into what I perceive as a very small monthly number. Mr. seems to think it's "reasonable." He is also the man who used to go "shopping" and come home with a pack of Hanes T-shirts in new colors (woohoo!).
In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, and five days without power, I decided that I did need to start living for someone other than myself, but I did not need to abandon the part of me that loves fashion and all it has to offer. My closet is not full of trendy, of-the-moment clothing. It is full of what I consider classic pieces that define my personal style. I have set out toward my closet (closets, really) with a new mantra "make it new." Find new possibilities from my own closet. Was the fun of shopping on a bad day really no more than just feeling like I had some control in my life? Pretty much. I can take the reins from the comfort of my own home and my own clothes. An hour spent in the department store can now be an hour spent trying different combinations with what I already know fits and looks great. It will be a much more fulfilling hour spent with friends getting coffee and a mani then walking around a store, shouting to each other in the fitting rooms. When I did have my extra to shop I need to choose things that have purpose and staying power. Or I can be smart and buy less to save more.
So with that I am "making it new" this November. Starting with my email in-box and deleting all of those pesky shopping emails. I will then remember that each item I procure on this budget needs to serve more of a purpose than "Saturday Night." Budgets do not mean losing my expensive taste, but rather refining that taste down to what really matters, and what is really needed.
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